Mount Nebo. The place where God led Moses to die. The place with a magnificent view of the Promised Land (I’ve been there and seen it; it’s spectacular). The place where Moses’ many years of faithful service and ministry are met by a view of this land that God used Moses to lead His people to. The place where we are reminded of the consequences of sin and disobedience. We all long to get to the mountaintop, but even there we are often reminded there is a God that stands much higher.

The word Exodus translates to “going out” or “exit.” God promised Abraham that He would make a great nation of his descendants following a sojourn through a land that is not theirs (Genesis 5:13). Hundreds of years pass as these descendants of Abraham sojourn in Egypt, and they became so numerous that Pharaoh considered them a political threat – so much so that now a new law is put into place that all male Hebrew children must be cast into the Nile river; this is one of the first stories in the meta-narrative of the Scriptures in which God is setting up His desire to provide His children with love and deliverance, redemption and a promise-honoring character. Through the story of Moses’ life we get to see how God uses His people to accomplish His will.

A Hebrew child born to a tender-loving mother was cast into the Nile, but in a papyrus basket, covered with tar and set afloat (Exodus 2:1-4). Found by the royal princess, a crying and distraught infant likely stirred the compassion and pity of another human. Moses, a Hebrew child that was to be cast into the Nile to die, is instead found afloat by Pharaoh’s daughter and taken in to be given a royal upbringing (Exodus 2:5-10). Later in life, Moses is met with a big choice when one of his Hebrew brothers is being tortured, and he chooses to kill the Egyptian man tormenting him (Exodus 2:11-15).

Now a fugitive from justice, Moses flees to the wilderness and begins shepherding a flock of sheep. A life of nobility and prestige is now reduced to a life spent counting sheep. Here’s the significance: God ordains our stories and will use anyone that He chooses to accomplish His will. God is about to step into Moses’ story and show us that even a no name criminal that has been counting sheep for 40 years can be used by Him to accomplish one of the greatest feats of all time. God makes leaders. He is the one that equips and builds persons of influence, dignity, and character.

“But Moses said to God, “Who am I that I should go to Pharaoh and bring the children of Israel out of Egypt?” Exodus 3:11

Who am I? Such a great question for Moses to ask. He’s now elderly, has lost his social aptitude (you would too after spending 40 years with sheep), and he is a loser. An orphan, a murderer, a fugitive for decades – God chose this man to lead His people out of captivity and into the land that He promised them? Yes, He did. This is where God has spoken into my life through this story.

“Who am I, God, that you’d use me to lead a team of people on mission to edify your Gospel and aid you in inviting others into your Kingdom? I am a timid, fearful, ill-confident loser who has nothing to offer. I get lost in trying to earn the love of others. I think a lot, but rarely is it productive. I build emotional barriers and shut people out because I can’t trust that they actually care. I can’t make good decisions. I can’t do this. Who am I?” This was and often is my dialogue with God. There’s much work that He has done on my heart and my confidence, but my temptation is to fear a constantly changing world and the unknown about people’s loyalty and commitment to be a part of my life. I am scared. Scared of my inability to come to a sound decision, scared of losing people, scared of comparison, scared of abandonment, scared. I am scared. Who am I, that He’d use me? I’m His son. There is nothing to fear, He tells me repeatedly in His Word. He is in charge. He loves me and knows me and cares for me. He is secure. He does not change. He is there.

“Then Moses said to God, “If I come to the people of Israel and say to them, ‘The God of your fathers has sent me to you,’ and they ask me, ‘What is his name?’ what shall I say to them?” God said to Moses, “I AM WHO I AM.” And he said, “Say this to the people of Israel: ‘I AM has sent me to you.” Exodus 3:13-14

I AM. The God who was, is, and ever will be. He is who He is. The God who is and who always has been is the one who chose Moses, who chooses me, and who chooses you. God used Moses to change the world. He used a loser to deliver His children out of Egyptian slavery, to give the law to His people, and to lead them to the promised land. Go back and look at what Moses did to be qualified for that. Spoiler-alert: the answer is nothing. God chose Moses, and God made it all happen.

As I reflect on a season of ministry closing, and through studying this story over the past year, God has highlighted some clear application to my life:

God gave Moses his purpose | I do love people. I feel that God has given me a heart that pursues and chases after people well, which is what He does for us. While it is often very painful for me, and there’s an ongoing lesson from Him in pouring out to and pursuing others with an open-hand and not expecting anything back, it is also my greatest treasure. I am at a constant tug and pull to give of myself in this regard because I long for mutual loyalty and pursuit, and I feel that I am never matched in that outpouring. This is very dangerous and is something used by Satan to convince us of lies and inadequacies. Simultaneously my biggest burden and my greatest treasure, my desire to pursue and run after people is my purpose. We serve a God who shows up, consistently. A God who gives all good things, who protects us from what is harmful, and a God who sees and knows. Read Psalm 23 and see. Moses’ purpose was to lead God’s people into the land that He promised to them. Surrendered and obedient, God used Moses to do so.

Moses didn’t do it perfectly | I’ve been called a showman. There are times where this is okay, but also times where the “show” can be self-gratifying. Moses had clear instruction from God to speak to the rock, and it would then respond by water flowing from it so that the children of Israel could drink. Moses disobeyed, and chose to strike the rock (I think because he thought that would be a little cooler). Water still flowed, but damage was done to Moses and God’s relationship (Numbers 20:8-13), and as a result Moses would not be permitted entrance into the Promised Land. I am not a perfect leader, friend, family member, and certainly not a perfect follower of Jesus. There are many instances of disobedience in my life. God in His grace still let Moses view the land He’d promised, and that Moses led the children of Israel to from atop Mount Nebo. Despite my rejection of Him, my inadequacy, and my disobedience, God still gives me a daily view of the heaven that I do get to enter by the work of Christ. He does this through relationships with people, through how He reveals Himself in His creation, and by His Word. I don’t have to do it perfectly; Jesus did for me!

Moses was fearful, but trusted God | A plague in my life is fear. Fear of not being good enough in school or sports, fear of comparison in how my work lines up to the work of others, fear of the unknown. Fear. In young-adult life, it’s not necessarily fear of anything specific anymore, but fear is the actual preoccupation. It’s a difficult thing to explain to people. I’m not scared of the world or people, but I fear inconsistency and losing close relationships. I fear how I come across, I fear loneliness, and mostly I fear abandonment. Even in his fear, Moses was reminded by God that He is I AM. He is the only authority that has no beginning or end, and He is the one who is in charge. If this same God is the one who has written the greatest love and rescue story of all time, and the God who calls me by name and fully knows and understands me, then what do I have to fear? Answer: nothing. I’ve learned this and I do believe it, but at 25 this is still the hardest thing for me to apply daily.

The climb to the top of the mountain is a noble one. Surrendered and obedient, God can and will use us to bring glory to Himself. He uses losers. I am one, and you are too – boast in that. Satan spends his time trying to convince me of this, and once you affirm him in it and remind him of who was and is victorious, things change. Jesus wins. The peak of my Mount Nebo will be a full submission and rest in the peace and security that my God provides. This is a long haul, and I am still climbing. Please pray with me that I will come to this summit. My prayer for you is that the purpose of your hike is revealed to you also, and that your eyes would stay on the prize of His promise (Romans 5:1-5).