I’ve got an old sling-shot that my grandpa made for me. He crafted a small piece of timber by hand, tied up some string and rubber pieces, and cut some leather out of his old boots to piece together this perfectly imperfect contraption made to kill critters. It’s got “Brax” etched into it, and a sweet reminder that he made it for me as it simply says beneath my name, “Popo.” Total monetary value: maybe $2. Sentimental value: priceless

Let’s assume that I lost this thing and that someone has found it and is willing to give it back for a price. Starting price – $50. Done. Let’s assume this little jerk jacks up the price to $250. Done. Obviously there would be a limit here but my point is there’s not much that I wouldn’t pay for or do for something or someone that I love. The warm feeling of elder wisdom, stories of old, time spent learning, and that feeling of “the good-old days” are all encapsulated by this hand-made gift from my grandpa. Priceless. You call to mind something similar of yours; a valuable possession, note, keepsake, etc. Something irreplaceable.

This now begs the question; how do you determine something’s value? Answer: that depends on how much you are willing to pay for it. This simple yet profound reality has wrecked my worldview recently, especially amid COVID-19. You’re telling me that while I was hostile toward God, separated from Him, trapped in bondage, and while I actively rejected His truth, He still died for me? He still bore the weight of my sin, and saw me as valuable enough to give His own life so that my relationship could be reconciled with Him? Yes, that’s what the Scriptures say (Romans 5:8). Crazy, when you think of it in that context right? You are valuable enough to God that He would pay your eternal debt that you might experience life-indeed, and right relationship with Him.

The way life was disrupted during “rona-time” (COVID-19) trapped me into believing the exact opposite of what Romans 5:9 says. Here’s a few things and learnings that defined my rona-time:

Fear | Anyone who knows me knows that this “F” word is a plague in my life. I’m not afraid of meeting new people, public speaking, jumping out of planes, or travelling to middle Eastern countries (I’ve done all of these things multiple times). I’m afraid of the slow dissolution of relationships; rona-time felt like this was happening. If you’ve been tracking with me long, you know this about me. If I’ve trusted you enough to offer you the full extent of my friendship and loyalty, you know it’s genuine. Enter the mandatory stay-home order. The social circle I was assembling was now at a literal distance, work was quite uncertain, and I had never felt more alone. Every single agent of “security” that I had was shaken, and friends this was incredibly painful. How kind of God to allow me to experience this. I said that right; He allowed me to be tested in the moment that all my worst fears were becoming reality. My safe, secure, happy-place and driving purpose at work was shaken, friends felt and were literally quite distant, and Satan’s lies were screaming like the TV at your grandparent’s house that’s way too loud and drowns out everything normal and important. There were days when I couldn’t fathom it being any worse. I’m not seeking pity here, but I am trying to give you perspective into what I felt because whether or not you resonate with my experience, there’s a point in your life when you’ve felt pain and it was real. I may not be able to understand your pain, but I can empathize with whatever it is because even if the fear or circumstance that causes it is irrational, in the moment it is still very real. We would all fulfill the greatest commandment better if we empathize with other’s pain. Rona-time disrupted my security and I often chose fear to cope. Seems counterproductive (because it is), and I learned as God led me through it. One thing remained unchanged, and that is the value that Jesus places on pursuing a relationship with me, and His desire to take away my fears and anxieties.

Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him because he cares for you.

1 Peter 5:6-7

Fortitude & Forgiveness | Have you ever watched that video of a honey badger just going beast-mode on everything it encounters? Check it out if you haven’t; those things are pretty resilient. So is the loving pursuit of the Lord, and I did not use well the armor that He is gracious to provide amid the disruption of my normal while in the heat of rona-time.

Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might. Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm. Stand therefore, having fastened on the belt of truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and, as shoes for your feet, having put on the readiness given by the gospel of peace. In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one; and take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God, praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication. To that end, keep alert with all perseverance, making supplication for all the saints, and also for me, that words may be given to me in opening my mouth boldly to proclaim the mystery of the gospel, for which I am an ambassador in chains, that I may declare it boldly, as I ought to speak.

Ephesians 6:10-20

Clearly God’s provision for our battle is sufficient. He can endure, He can withstand, He can speak victory, because He can. He gives us the tools needed to win. All of this derives from a humble dependence on Him. Notice though, there’s no armor cited for the back. That’s not a hole or inadequacy, I personally think that it’s a reminder that we are to be equipped children of God that stand back to back in battle. “I’ve got your back” is one of those terms used loosely today along with “I love you” and “best-friend.” Those three things have deep roots and meanings for me, and I don’t use them sparingly or flippantly. Many people tried to have my back during rona-time, but I chose to stand exposed. God was victorious, and I am stronger, but friends, don’t make the mistake of pushing away those that want to guard your back. I’ve had to ask for forgiveness for the way I navigated rona-time. Disruption caused me to not believe that I had anyone guarding my back; God proved that to be so wrong, and again showed me the value that even in the darkest most desperate times, He guards me and values me enough seek right relationship with me, and to comfort me.

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.

Psalm 23:4

Faith |I sit in my office chair trusting that it will support my weight, I turn the key in my truck and trust that it will start, and I turn on the shower trusting that water will flow. While arguably mindless and mundane, these are all still acts of faith. The most practical I would say is that of the chair; imagine its absence if a person is still faithfully trusting it will be there to catch them. The impact on the ground is going to hurt. God does not work that way. He is always there to catch us, always there to support us, and eagerly embraces our tender hearts and need for Him. My faith was stretched in disruption. I allowed fear to push me to a doubtful suspicion of God’s provision and care for my life. I allowed fear to infect relationships and make me suspicious of dear friend’s devotion and loyalty to me. I allowed fear to shrink my faith. As I look back in retrospect I can certainly sit in regret, but that is a form of fear also. What I did well was learn. I learned what faithfulness actually looks like because God put me in a place where that was literally all I had to lean on. My faith was stretched and grown during rona-time, and God proved again the value that I hold to Him because He kindly allowed me to move to a place of humble dependence on Him.

Though you have not seen him, you love him. Though you do not now see him, you believe in him and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory, obtaining the outcome of your faith, the salvation of your souls.

1 Peter 1:8-9

Bottom line: Character is revealed in disruption. My character is stronger because of rona-time and my downfalls amid it. I can confidently say that because I’ve never had a clearer understanding of how much God loves me and desires my affection. You and I, we are His slingshots. We are His handiwork. We are His beloved. He loves you, and He loves me too. He places immense value on the chance for us to live in relationship with Him; He paid the ultimate sacrifice to prove it.

Special rona-time thanks:

JP: Brotherman, thank you for your pursuit of me. Thank you for reminding me that my tender heart isn’t a sign of weakness. Thank you for diving into the Word with me consistently during one of the most desolate and dry times I’ve ever navigated. You showed up brotherman; spiritually, physically, and on Zoom. I’m forever grateful for your friendship.

JO: You are so much more than a boss. 5 years hasn’t been nearly enough and that’s because I know Jesus better because of the time I spend learning from you. Thank you, for sharpening me, for investing in me, and for chasing after me when I try to run away. I know you believe in me, and I know that I can confidently lean on you in my weakest moments. I’ve got your back, always.

RJ: You’re my sister, you’re my friend, and you’re one of the people that knows me best on this Earth. Thanks for making me into a crier, and thanks for knowing me and bluntly calling me out on my blind-spots and selfish tendencies. You’ve made me sharper, and there aren’t adequate words to convey my gratitude for you. You really are a gift, friend.

AW: You and your friendship are a slingshot in my life man. Be confident in the value you can bring to the BC; it’s priceless. There’s never going to be a day that I don’t show up for you. I’ll stand firm guarding your back through any battle or storm; you are loved, brother mine.